“An elegant cream soup is not necessarily better than a humble broth made of wild grasses. When you gather even wild grasses, make it equal to a fine cream soup with your true, sincere and pure heart… nourish your sacred body.”
Dogen Zenji (1244)
How you feel when you prepare a meal is going to affect the way the food tastes: when you are happy, the meal you serve will taste delicious, no matter how humble the ingredients; likewise, when you are upset or agitated, the meal you serve will not be tasty, even with the most gourmet ingredients. Therefore, if you are really agitated, I believe you might as well just get takeaway food! Even though it doesn’t seem a healthy choice it is no worse that cooking a meal yourself in a bad mood. Of course the ideal situation is to be happy every time you cook. But who am I kidding?! At the end of a busy day when every traffic light is red and everything you touch is a victim of Murphy’s Law it is totally unreasonable to expect you to just put on a happy face, tie on an apron and become Nigella, Queen of the Kitchen! Get takeaway instead… and relax.
On the other hand, it doesn’t have to be that desperate. Sometimes it’s simply the expectations that we place on ourselves that increases the stress levels around mealtime. Perhaps you do indeed expect yourself to be a pristine gourmet cook at the end of a long and tiring day. Here’s a true story related to me by a busy mum, who had been coming to my home to learn about Zen cooking. She was exhausted and frazzled after a particularly busy day but managed to provide a perfect meal for her family and offer it with the most important ingredient of all… love.
Christine had three children, all primary school aged, and her husband worked away on a mining site. This day had been particularly long and hard, and after a poor night’s sleep the night before, she was ready for bed by 6 o’clock. Opening the fridge, she just stood and looked inside hoping for inspiration but not feeling remotely motivated to prepare a cooked meal. And the fridge was pretty bare because she hadn’t had time to go shopping anyway. Change of plan…
She sat the kids down around the low coffee table on cushions, laid out folded paper napkins, got out the special china dishes that had belonged to her grandmother and crystal wine glasses. When the children asked why they were seated at the coffee table, Christine replied, “This is how they eat their dinner in Japan, so we’re going to be Japanese tonight.” They were intrigued by this and sat quietly on their cushions. Christine then brought their meal to the table: tuna and lettuce sandwiches, crusts cut off, and cut into ‘soldiers.’ The wine glasses were filled with orange juice from a crystal carafe. Sean, who was eight years old, then said, “Well if we’re Japanese tonight, I want to eat my sandwiches with chopsticks!” And so all four of them ate their sandwiches with chopsticks – with great hilarity at the messy results!
At the end of the meal, Taryn, the eldest, got up and gave her mum a big hug and said, “Mum, that’s the best dinner I ever had!” When Christine told me this story, she said that when she decided to make just sandwiches, she prepared the meal with absolute care and attention, and all the time feeling the deep love she had for her children. So even though she was frazzled, it took such little effort to serve a loving meal… and it tasted delicious!
Coming next…
Miso soup – a complete meal in a bowl
On the other hand, it doesn’t have to be that desperate. Sometimes it’s simply the expectations that we place on ourselves that increases the stress levels around mealtime. Perhaps you do indeed expect yourself to be a pristine gourmet cook at the end of a long and tiring day. Here’s a true story related to me by a busy mum, who had been coming to my home to learn about Zen cooking. She was exhausted and frazzled after a particularly busy day but managed to provide a perfect meal for her family and offer it with the most important ingredient of all… love.
Christine had three children, all primary school aged, and her husband worked away on a mining site. This day had been particularly long and hard, and after a poor night’s sleep the night before, she was ready for bed by 6 o’clock. Opening the fridge, she just stood and looked inside hoping for inspiration but not feeling remotely motivated to prepare a cooked meal. And the fridge was pretty bare because she hadn’t had time to go shopping anyway. Change of plan…
She sat the kids down around the low coffee table on cushions, laid out folded paper napkins, got out the special china dishes that had belonged to her grandmother and crystal wine glasses. When the children asked why they were seated at the coffee table, Christine replied, “This is how they eat their dinner in Japan, so we’re going to be Japanese tonight.” They were intrigued by this and sat quietly on their cushions. Christine then brought their meal to the table: tuna and lettuce sandwiches, crusts cut off, and cut into ‘soldiers.’ The wine glasses were filled with orange juice from a crystal carafe. Sean, who was eight years old, then said, “Well if we’re Japanese tonight, I want to eat my sandwiches with chopsticks!” And so all four of them ate their sandwiches with chopsticks – with great hilarity at the messy results!
At the end of the meal, Taryn, the eldest, got up and gave her mum a big hug and said, “Mum, that’s the best dinner I ever had!” When Christine told me this story, she said that when she decided to make just sandwiches, she prepared the meal with absolute care and attention, and all the time feeling the deep love she had for her children. So even though she was frazzled, it took such little effort to serve a loving meal… and it tasted delicious!
Coming next…
Miso soup – a complete meal in a bowl
Dear Cate,
ReplyDeleteI love your blog site, kitchen sink zen, and this story of Christine is really inspiring. Looking forward to more of it. I also wonder whether you have read the book 'In Buddha's Kitchen', by Kimberley Snow. If not, I think you would enjoy it.
Happy cooking
Karla
Thanks Karla for your reference to Kimberley Snow's wonderful book - it is one of my favourites! So full of humour and wisdom... no recipes for meals, but a great recipe for life!
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